"I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."

Thomas Jefferson
Sept. 23, 1800

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Climate Change News

The only sign of life issuing from Al Gore's cranium lately was his decision to stop railing against "global warming" and start railing against "climate change." This works well on the level of the "even a stopped clock is right twice a day" theory, as fears of boiling alive in the remains of arctic icebergs turn to fears of freezing solid in sunny, warm Madrid.

If you're having trouble keeping up, never fear, here's today's climate change round-up:

Pravda abandons all wishy-washy-ness and proclaims an ice age.

German meteorologists recommend that Slovenians stop wearing metal jewelery in pierced holes outside for fear of causing horrible freezing damage. Slovenia recorded a temperature of NEGATIVE 49 degrees Celsius. For those not good with their metric system, that is a whole lot colder than -49 F.

Slovenians who would rather wear their nose rings can help toward that end by simply running Google searches on their PC. Yep, searching on Google will cause global warming, and kill polar bears, but make it more bearable in Slovakia.

It's -78 degrees somewhere in Alaska. Of course, it IS Alaska.

It's snowing to beat the band in Madrid. Even Reuters admits this is a bit odd.

Britain plans to ban giant screen plasma televisions to help fight the rapidly increasing temperatures. This is part of the EU's effort to combat global warming. Is Slovenia in the EU?

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